Gourarie then wrote: ‘Hey. This is pretty surreal, isn’t it? One might say uncomfortable. Jarring. Just close the app now if you want. I guess if you don’t know by now you should probably sit down.
‘If you’re reading this, I’m gone. Either that or somehow incapacitated in the hospital so I can’t delete this scheduled post. I really hope I’m not though.’
Gourarie wrote that she didn’t ‘care to go into the reasons why I’m gone, but there are certainly more than thirteen,’ referencing the popular young adult novel and Netflix TV series, 13 Reasons Why, about high school students in the wake of a classmate’s suicide.
What we know so far about Yocheved Gourarie
Earlier posts on Gourarie’s Instagram account made reference to the fact that she struggled with anorexia and depression, while also advocating for mental health.
In May 2019, she wrote that she had finally started seeking help for her depression and was ‘Wondering whether I can change. Wondering whether I want to change. But there is one thing I do know: I am experiencing small joys again.’ Several of her TikTok videos posted in recent months appeared to take a humorous approach to therapy sessions and also referenced overcoming suicidal thoughts.
Her latest videos showcased her singing and solicited tips for improvement.
In her final Instagram post, Gourarie wrote that she had scheduled a ‘note to send to my parents posthumously’ which included more details about her apparent decision to take her own life. She acknowledged that posting a public suicide note on Instagram might cause her parents pain.
‘I don’t want to do that, I just want to leave my last mark on this world,’ Gourarie wrote.
‘All of you have made my life so much more full, brighter, and happier than it would have been without you. Your support, your encouragement, your hugs, your invitations, your smiles, your texts, your tagging me in memes you think I’d find funny.’
She went on to say that ‘None of you could have done anything – or done more – to prevent this from happening. You all did your absolute best and for that I am eternally grateful. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing I am no longer in pain.’
She ended the post by writing ‘I love you.’
According to her TikTok videos, Gourarie had traveled to Utah for inpatient treatment for her eating disorder in August and returned to New York City in late October, after having had her discharge date postponed by two weeks.
Gourarie was a bright student, who was valedictorian of her graduating class at Shalhevet High School. She then graduated with a 4.0 GPA from Macauly Honors College at CUNY, according to the Village Sun.
She had spent the past two and a half years interning at New York City’s National Yiddish Theatre Folksbiene. Yocheved Gourarie is now the second person to have apparently committed suicide by falling from the Vessel since it was opened in March 2019.
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